I feel like I l…

I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something. Break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment or someone could die.

– Superman

I first heard Superman say this while watching Justice League: Unlimited. I didn’t think too much about it because he was fighting Darkseid. Then a few months later I realized how powerful those words were.I feel like we really do live in such a fragile world. Everyone has to stay conscious of what spews out of their mouth or risk offending others.

I took these words to heart because growing up, I wanted to fit in with people. I wanted to be part of something, I wanted to belong somewhere. This led me to hold back on my opinions and ideas. While others allowed their opinions to thrive and spread, while I let mine die within myself. Even in arguments I would always let people win because it meant so much to me that I could be a part of their group. I was always afraid to let other know what I think because I could say something that might cripple their ideas and their self esteem and I didn’t want make myself seem smarter or stupider than everybody else. It became increasingly difficult to let my opinions loose, because it became harder and harder to make friends. Since being part of something meant so much to me, I kept holding back. Even with stranger, who mean nothing to me. I’m always afraid of hurting someone’s feelings.



I believe an introduction is called for. My name is Josh and I started this blog to unleash my inner thoughts that accumulated through my lack external expression of my feelings. I haven’t written in a while, so bear with me with grammar and vocabulary.

Now, a little about myself:

I am an Economics Major at San Diego State University. You might expect me to know what i want to do with an economics degree, but in all honesty, I don’t have the slightest clue. First I wanted to be a corporate lawyer and thought a Bachelors in economics will go hand in hand with analytical thinking and problem solving that encompasses an attorney’s life. I’ve taken the LSATs and I did quite well: 170/180. However, I reevaluated my plan and saw that if I did turn into a corporate lawyer all I would do is work endlessly at this soul draining career. But for what? A large salary, nice clothes, a nice house, a nice car? All of those would be amazing! Yet for the price of my freedom. I realized that I didn’t want a career that would define who I am.

I enjoy competing in Olympic Weightlifting. I aspire to someday compete at an international level and eventually at the Olympics. I know it’s quite a ambitious, but anything can happen. When I first started in this sport, I really didn’t think much of it. I simply thought, “Great, all I have to do is two lifts (snatch and Clean & Jerk).” I was dead wrong. This sport demand so much focus, energy, sacrifice, recovery, and effort. I have to add more weight and reps to my back squats, front squats, and deadlifts to gain strength  I have to add more sets in technique training to get the perfect movement of a previous weight. I have to add more session to train all of what I’ve stated, to add just ONE more kilogram to my lifts. As I continued in the sport, I now see it more than just picking up an object and putting it down. More than just a sport. But an artform that needs a mastery, years of training, and thousands of repetitions to fully perfect the beauty of these lifts. I also coach the lifts to athletes that require power production in their sport (volleyball, lacrosse, soccer, tennis, etc.).  As of now, I plan on opening up my own Olympic Weightlifting gym once I graduate. I suppose the economics and business experience will greatly aid this venture of mine.

I’m not much of an outdoors person. I quite honestly don’t like nature like everybody else. I apologize to those nature enthusiasts, but I can’t see its beauty. People always asks me if I want to go hiking and I always take a pass. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone hiking before, but I didn’t enjoy it. Past experiences in hiking and camping really left me bored. I remember once someone asked me, “Don’t you think its fun to go out and see the mountains and hears the birds sing? Or look at the beautiful plants and feel the nice breeze?” All I could say was, “Nature’s not that great.” I guess, I’m a city slicker but at least I know what I don’t like.

Despite my lack of interest in nature, I love philosophy in all it’s forms. I find that everything can interrelate with each other some way, some how. By philosophy I don’t mean religion, more of a spiritual sense that everyone can understand whether they are Buddhist, Christian, Muslim or whatever. I will write more on this later.

Well, I suppose that’s it for now. I can’t write everything on my very first post, unless I never want to write again.